Fear of the X

I fear the trivial things in my life, and as I sub consciously over-exaggerate and emphasize my so called terrors, they build up to a level so high, I run from the world. I've been running from my life for so long, I found my home in fear. But now I need to overcome my horrors and deal with them head on. However in order for me to do so, a driving force is necessary to motivate me to take action. How can I be strong enough without a will and a why?

I cannot afford to hide in fear anymore. I will not watch my family go through life with such tribulations. I will make something of myself and conquer these obstacles, I have to. Too long have I hid, too long have I ignored my responsibilities. I'm tired of living in fear and I refuse to do it any longer. I deserve more than this, my family deserves more than this.

Dear God,
give me the strength to be strong,
help me gain the courage to fight my inner demons,
and stand by my side as I walk through this path of uncertainty.

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference"


I must not fear x,
for x is the variable in my life,
and I will solve this equation.

A written thought of tomorrow's yesterday

I seem to have lost all direction in life. What could of once lead to a fascinating career has now dissolved into a dream of the past. I find myself in this state of pause more often then not. But time slows down for no one, and as I put my life on hold, everything else moves forward. I stand still in an ever-changing world. Where will I be when its all said and done. Redundantly writing about my glory days of what could have been, or reviewing my written thoughts of when I stood still in a moving world.