Premature decisions

I used to enjoy writing so much. It made me feel smart and articulate. Well worded and smooth. But now I can't even put a simple sentence together without giving it so much thought. My effort to be creative and different fall short of my expectations. My insistent push to spit out something creative only hinders my already limited vocabulary. Its so difficult to be in a job that expects so much of me. Being overly confident of my writing skills made me believe I could do this job, but I'm not so sure anymore. I made a human mistake and underestimated what I thought I could handle. I'm capable of being better than this. However my short lived college education may very well be my downfall. I need to go back to school to properly learn and increase my growth. I don't mind hard work, I just mind my own sloth. My twisted predicament to be yearning for a job I don't even take it seriously anymore. How many times have I avoided confrontation and responsibility? Maybe I'm not ready to be an adult just yet.

But I guess don't really have a choice now, do I?

False witnesses of you and... you

Sometimes I see certain parts of my ex in her. I meet people and they remind me of someone else. Everyone I see is beginning to look like a person I know or once knew. Except when it comes to you. But I must admit there were times I tried to find you in other people. I fool myself into believing she looks, acts, or even thinks the way you do. But I know, I'm only kidding myself. Because truth be told, there isn't anyone like you.

Living under the radar

restless thoughts in my head
for i fear the future
taking this path down my life
curious of what comes next
unforeseen situations
with predictable outcomes

i want to hide.

Warning

Once or twice, never the thrice. heed my words, my words of advice. forgive and forget or better not yet. walk and walk till your feet grow numb. sit on a chair, better than dumb. repeat as followed until you concede. its times like this, that show what you need. times like this, that you just don't need.

Wary of words.

watch what you say
whats said out of you
words are just words
and then they come true.

verbal action from those lips
leads straight to the heart
a cynical beauty
the poet, their art.

risk what you say
and then what you do
words are just words
until they come true.

What kind?

I believe that people should accept me for who I am. Despite all my flaws and vices appreciate me as a whole. I ignored criticism and welcomed compliments. There was nothing wrong in my way of thought. However certain situations arise, as we grow older, that causes us to slightly shift our mentality. Being accepted for who you are is important in every way. However, being content is never enough, at least for me. I wanted to grow, I wanted to learn. And as much as I want to be accepted for who I am, I wanted to accept myself even more.

I came to believe that there are 3 types of people in life. The good kind will accept you in all shapes and sizes. Reminding you that you're fine just the way you are. The bad kind will scold and criticize you, telling you what you need to fix according to them. Now the great kind, are the kind of people who will not only accept you for who you are, but also make you want to better yourself. Perhaps unappreciated in that moment but realized over time.

And so, we wonder how to spot the good from the great.

Just listen

People are either talkers or listeners, never the both. When you spend most of your time doing one thing, you're not doing the other. Talkers tend to miss the obvious signs, lacking the attention to the small tidbits that might deem useful in the long run. The listener's remain quiet, barely voicing their own opinion without having the chance to speak freely. I admit that I am indeed a talker. Yet I have those moments where I just stop to listen. Perhaps its my brain telling myself to pay attention for once, giving myself a chance to listen, not hear. And in that I find things about people that I haven't noticed before. People love to talk, especially about themselves.

"Everyone is just waiting for their turn to talk. It is only when death is upon you that they truly listen to what you have to say."
-Fight Club

Human Flaw

There are certain flaws we find in ourselves that we can never grow to accept. The kind of flaws that are out of our control. Yet we still complain and whine, doing what we can to fix said "problem". We label them flaws when others might call them assets. Nobodies perfect and as obvious as that is, we all try to be better, if not perfect to our own set of standards. Influenced by the media of what the perfect person constitutes, agressively thrown at our faces by todays "cool". Criticism from our peers feed our insecurities, never allowing us to be truly happy with just who we are. But understanding isn't accepting, and even if we ever get that far into contentment, we always find something else wrong.

Fancy that.

Faith; or lack there of

I spend a lot of time worrying . I worry about the future and I worry about the present. I consume myself in thought; distracted by my own views I overlook what's in front of me. My lack of faith causes me to fear for the future. My lack of confidence lowers my abilities, unable to show true skill.

There is this book called "the Secret" an old method that states "thinking equals reality" if you want something, you must believe you will have it. Want to be a rich? Imagine it. The simple act of thought and the power behind thought makes your dreams a reality. This book provides examples of special individuals whom have used this method with great success. People worldly known are used in this book to give inspiration that anybody can do it. I personally never got around to reading it but I did get a brief summary of what this book entails.

What I got from this book was the simple and obvious act of thinking positive. Optimism, as defined in the dictionary, is "the belief that good ultimately predominates over evil in the world". It made me realize that my faith was all I really needed. I tell myself I believe in God yet I don't show the actions to prove it. My act of worrying only contradicts what I say so proudly. Assured, I know that God has a plan for us but my fear of the unknown shows lack of faith.

We take what we can from what we have, what we're given. Profoundly interpreted, with all the difference from one another.

Readwell

Ah, the complexities of life. What finer than a day full of troubles and a night filled with worry. Lovely, ain't it? I know, I know, we all have those 'days' where we just want it to end. But have you ever considered doing the opposite? Far fetched? Most definitely, but on the contrary it may do you wonders. Intrigued? Haha, now that I've got your attention... or not (regardless, my post shall continue on) let's recap back to a day you blocked out or buried behind those fluffy happy times. Need some examples? I've got plenty. Loss of a friend or family, break ups, disappointments, failure, regret, and my all time favorite memories... consenquences! (bad choices and irresponsibility can stack up a lot of annoying memories in this department). Okay, now think back to that memory.
Got it? Good. Now remember how terrible that day was, how you felt, and how bad you wanted that day, or moment, to end. Okay, come back to reality. The now, the present, this moment. Don't wander those eyes now. Pay attention. How do you feel? Most cases you'd feel exactly the same, and in that fraction a few will actually feel better knowing that you got through it. Do you? I don't. Are you suppose to? Depends. What I'm really trying to get at is this; do the things you need, in order to serve your own purpose. If thinking back to a worse moment make you feel better then I say do it proudly. My post isn't to inspire nor is it to spread world peace for the people around the world. It's for my own selfish reasons; to vent, to express, and ultimately just to make myself feel better.




But I'm not one to leave without a notion to the people out there. To the 2 percent out of the 100 that demand some sort of recompense, here it is. We use people to make ourselves feel better. Blatantly obvious I know. However people fail to realize how much we use each other. Even the most trivial actions require the assistance of one another. So before I end this post with an angry reader or readers, for that matter. I'm going to state the obvious, because the obvious is recognized by the majority. Human interaction is important, not for society but for each individual person, which in theory, create a society. Quite the conundrum, or maybe just a mis-use of the word on my part. My point still stands firm; we all acknowledge that people are selfish, but as soon as we realize how important empathy is, the world might shift just enough to make a difference. You see being selfish doesn't mean that we can't do great things for this world. I mean come on, we're only human right?

Oh and do me a favor, and readwell. Not comprehensively.


Think about it.